A Great Night’s Sleep at Your Fingertips

Years of sleep deprivation have convinced me the only thing separating me from happiness was a good night’s sleep. Scientific studies lend credence to this conviction. According to science, sleep  improves mood, memory, performance, and productivity. It strengthens the immune system, prevents weight gain and heart attacks, and gives you the energy to get up and do what you need to do. Recently, I discovered how to get a great night’s sleep 28 out of 30 nights a month. Anything more would be just plain greedy. At 28 nights a month, I feel like I’ve won the sleep lottery. Here’s how I finally found  my way to sleep nirvana. And, maybe you can too.

If you’re reading this, you’re desperate for a great night of sleep. So far nothing has worked. Like you, I once tried all the usual suspects. My bedroom was sound proof,  pitch black, and ready for a snooze at a cool 64 degrees Fahrenheit. There were no TVs in my bedroom, no computers, and—of course—no fucking phones of any kind!  My  bedroom had one purpose. I abstained from everything in my bedroom save sleep and its failed attempts. I tried turning in at the same time every night and waking at the same time every morning on weekdays, weekends, and holidays. And sleep still eluded me. Until finally, I tried something completely different. 

Something Completely Different 

The path I tried is the one less traveled. And it’s less traveled for a reason. It’s not for everyone. It’s not for those who drift effortlessly to sleep the second their fat heads touch their pillows. If you’re one of those types, take a coffee break and a nap. My  path is not for you if you haven’t already tried every cheap sleep trick Google serves up. I  presume all of Healthline’s “17 Proven Tips to Sleep Better at Night” have failed you.  You’ve tripped on “The 6 Steps to Better Sleep” from the Mayo Clinic. And you’ve discovered The 8 Secrets to a Good Night’s Sleep from Harvard Health weren’t even real secrets. And, it goes without saying caffeine doesn’t cross your lips within 12 hours of bedtime. You don’t nap during the day, do alcohol or drugs of any kind anytime. You get plenty of exercise. I’m not talking about the  piddly 20 minutes a day the CDC recommends.  I’m talking 2 to 3 hours a day of physical activity.     

The Magic Formula

It’s not so magical, and it requires work. But it does work for everyone who has ever tried it.  Here’s what you need to do to get it to work for you. Get in bed at night and turn out the lights. Do four simple exercises for 15 minutes and then glide into a hard-won sleep. Of course, for these four exercises to work, you’ve got to want a great night’s sleep and be willing to do the work to get it. 

So what are these four soporific exercises? Massage, PMR, Focus, and Relaxation. That’s it! If you can do those four things together every night, you can get a good night’s sleep 28 nights a month. Anything more would be just plain greedy. When I put these four exercises together in a 15-minute routine, I accomplished heroic things in the sack, like sleeping 8 to 9 hours a night. It’s enough to make a professional sleep therapist weep with envy. And it won’t cost you a thing. 

Massage

Yes, you have to do the massage.  If you’re afraid to touch yourself, too bad. You’re going to have to get over that. You’ve probably touched your body before. It may have been by accident or highly concentrated. In the pursuit of a great night’s sleep, you’re going to have to expand your canvas and learn to give your whole body a massage. If you’ve never done it before, this is a chance to learn something new, and it will look good on a resume. You may even find you like it. 

How to do it

Of course, there are plenty of YouTube videos to show you the way  Here’s a link to one I made for you. Or you might massage without any instruction. Massage is a natural act and requires no training whatsoever. Just get out your hands and have at it. 

PMR

If you’ve never done Progressive Muscle Relaxation, it’s easy to learn and simple to do.  You tighten a muscle group and then relax it. Try it with your hands by clenching them into fists while inhaling deeply. Then release your fists while deeply exhaling and focusing on the sensations in your mitts. That’s all there is to it. You then flex and release the muscles in your arms, then do your shoulders, neck, face, torso, legs, and feet. Here’s a link to a video if you want a demo and a written explanation if you want one. PMR serves the same function as a yawn, in which you tighten your whole body and relax it.

Full Body Massage

The trickiest thing about sleeping isn’t falling asleep it’s staying asleep and falling back to sleep after waking up during the night. The massage provides you with the juice in the form of neurotransmitters to fall back asleep when you wake up during the night. You won’t need to reapply it when you wake up. You apply the massage while doing PMR while exhaling and relaxing your muscles. Let’s try it. Clench your fists and inhale, focusing on the feelings in your hands. Now exhale while relaxing each hand and massaging one hand with the other. You then apply this basic technique to your whole body. First, do  your hands, then your arms, shoulders, neck, face, torso, legs, and feet. 

Focus

The trick to falling asleep, I’ve learned after years of trying everything else, is to focus on the present moment. Not on the past and not on the future. If you want to fall asleep, you have to be present. And because you are massaging and flexing and relaxing your muscles, it’s easy to focus on the sensations each exercise is producing. And that’s what you need to do. Focus is what meditators do, athletes do to get in the zone, and what you need to do to flow yourself to sleep. Being awake to the present moment is what all animals, great and small, do to make their limited time on earth worth living. 

Relaxation

Relaxing is the fourth and final exercise you need to perform to sleep. It’s so easy and obvious it doesn’t even seem worth saying. But it’s critical if you want to sleep. You have to relax. No matter how relaxed you are, you can always relax more. Say that to yourself when transitioning to sleep.  

Conclusion

That’s what you need to do for a great night’s sleep. Those four things will get you through the night. PMR, massage,  focus, and relaxation. Try it for a week, and you’ll do it for life.  

Note: This is the first of two part series. Part 2 will explain why massage is crucial to a great night’s sleep.